I asked my husband to pick up a package of Depends for Sarah when he was at the store and he gave me this horrified look.  I told him, “Look, no one is going to think they are for you!  How do you think I feel carrying the economy size package of ‘Depends for Women’ around the store?”

The smile on David’s face showed me I got him on that one and he agreed to pick up the package.  Wise man!

It reminded me of the time a few weeks prior that I was at the store gathering food for our ‘Pig Out Day.’  We have ‘Pig Out Day’ for major sporting events, like Bowl games or the Super bowl.  I buy a variety of appetizers and snacks and just set them out on the kitchen island on the day of the game(s).  It is a free-for-all day and the kids say ‘Pig Out Day’ is one of their favorite family traditions.  Some families have rich and beautiful traditions, such as being married with a Bible that has been in the family for five generations or each Thanksgiving eating a pie that was great grandma’s recipe; for us it is a couple bags of chips and a deli tray. To each their own!

I was in the checkout lane at the grocery store and the man behind me in line watched me as I put shrimp, meat and cheese trays on the conveyor belt.  He made a comment that I must be having a party.  I smiled and nodded.  He saw the veggie and fruit trays and bags of chips and he joked about coming over to my house to eat.  I explained to him ‘Pig Out Day’, but was trying to keep the small talk to a minimum because I knew what I had hidden in my cart.  I was embarrassed, but it got to the point that I had no choice.  He continued to make comments on the items in my grocery cart, until that is….I took a deep breath and with two hands pulled out the economy sized package of Depends for Women with a huge sticker on the package announcing “Now available in Soft Peach!” color.  He looked at the package, looked at me, and then turned around and didn’t speak to me for the rest of the transaction.  Maybe I should have pulled the package out sooner!  I felt like pointing to the package of Depends and saying to him, “Why miss a moment of the game?”

Ahh…having an autistic child can really humble you!

It’s humbling. It’s embarrassing.  I had no problem buying diapers or pull-ups because no one would think they are for me.  Yet, now I feel like saying loudly as I carry the enormous package of Depends throughout the store, “These are for my autistic daughter.” or “My daughter really loves these in this new soft peach color!”  I look around to see if I recognize anyone because I am sure this will be the one time I run into someone I haven’t seen in years.  It is a pride issue.  I care more about what others might think.  So what?  There are worst things in the world and tougher battles that people are facing than incontinence issues.

I Peter 5:5, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Pride is an inward focus of making sure to promote oneself while a humble spirit is an outward focus of servitude.  When you are humble you are broken down, all ego is laid to rest.  You are open and willing to serve and maybe that is why the Lord gives grace to humble.  You are finally ready to receive His grace.  In my pride, I am too rigid and stiff necked, but once I am humbled there is softness in my soul and a pouring out of oneself to be able to be filled with His grace instead.  Grace to do the embarrassing, grace to do the uncomfortable, grace to go beyond myself and be stretched more than I thought possible, but do out of love.  Grace means unmerited favor.  God gives us unmerited favor, HIS unmerited favor to do the difficult and challenging things we have placed in our lives right now.  He knows that on our own we can’t, so He equips us with His grace to firm up our feeble legs and steady our steps to do what He has called us to do.

God’s grace!  I’ll take that in the economy size any day!