I want to be careful how I write this. I don’t want to be too graphic, but it looks like today Sarah started a new phase in her maturity. For years, people have asked me, okay, just other women, if men asked that would be creepy, what I would do when this happens and my reply has always been the same: The Lord is already there and in control. I am going to keep going on this path in faith and pray for grace and wisdom when we get to this point on the path.
Growing up, the Wednesday night girl clubs’ theme verse at my church was Psalms 119:105, “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.”
When I think of ‘a light unto my path’, it reminds me of the time I went on a camping trip with Kendall, Sarah’s twin sister. The planners of this event called it “rustic”; I called it “one night only” and later under my breath, “never again”. The camp was fine during the day, but once the sun set, it got dark. Or, as my kids used to say when they were little it got ‘dark dark’. One of our nighttime activities was to go on a nature walk to see if we can see any nocturnal animals. Sadly, we saw very little, not just because of how dark it was, but the fact that every animal in the entire campground could hear us and stayed clear. The Gregory girls would make terrible ninjas! The path was barely worn and I relied heavily on my flashlight to navigate my way. My flashlight only gave enough light to reveal the few feet ahead of me. I couldn’t walk too fast otherwise I could walk into a tree, or stumble on some rocks and fall or stray off the path without even realizing it. I had to be very intentional in how I walked.
How true for our own lives’ paths! If I try to run ahead of God’s path for my life, I will make a real mess of it! And while I might want to see the entire path upfront, I might get overwhelmed and discouraged at how long my path is or if there are any twists or turns, if it goes down into deep valleys or climbs high mountains. Maybe that is why the Lord gives us just enough light to take the next step. He knows us too well! He gently leads with one step, then another and then another.
David was out today and he came home to ask me how Sarah had been, if she was any worse today because she had started her period. I told him the usual crying but at one point this afternoon she pointed to our dog, Pudge, and asked, “Can we eat that?” (Times are not that tough yet in the Gregory household!) Surprised when I realized she was talking about the dog, I told her emphatically ‘No!’ and she ran upstairs to her bedroom giggling. I hope this is Sarah’s sense of humor coming through and not that I need to hide all of our knives along with our scissors stash! (We actually hoped her starting might be beneficial because we think her non-stop crying and screaming could be tied to hormonal changes. Maybe this happening will stabilize her hormones a bit. That’s our prayer!!)
On our weddings bands David and I inscribed ‘Proverbs 3:5-6’. Which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your path.” Trust Him, believe Him when it doesn’t make sense to me, acknowledge He is in control and He will direct my path. Hmmm…I guess the Lord knew I needed these verses in my life so He made sure they are always on me! He has been faithful before and He continues to be faithful, so my plan is that we will continue to follow this path with the small light we have before us as He leads us to the next step, then the next, and then the next after that.
4 thoughts on “The Next Step”
Oh, Jill! Love your raw, honest posts. Thank you for sharing this! Thanks for the reminder that the Lord is already there and already in control. I think us parents need to remember this often – when we think of our children driving, dating, etc. Thank you, my friend!
We will keep praying that this new event in Sarah’s life will bring balance. Might take until she is done to truly know if this helped. We love you and we are praying.
Praying with others that this will help settle some of the emotions. Thankful God gave you Prov. 3:5-6 as you entered into your marriage covenant.
Praying that this adjustment in hormones will lead to better behaviors and to seeing more of her sense of humor coming out! I love her joke – I pray that she has many more funny thoughts that can bring laughter to her and to you all! I myself, am giggling at the thought of you gregory ninja girls in the dark! so true that He just gives us enough light for the steps ahead. He does know and He is already there for each new step – thanks for that thought. I needed that right now too. Your wisdom is always an encouragement.