Last month, I shared with you the verses in John 9 that the Lord used to encourage me when I struggled with the thought that I might have done something or could have prevented Sarah’s autism.   Later on in John 9 the healed blind man was questioned by the Pharisees.  (Raked over the coals is more like it!)  I love his response:

“He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know, I was blind but now I see!”  John 9:25

Sharing what you know; what a great thought!  I don’t claim to know all the answers but I do know Jesus and the difference He has made in my life and that I can share!

My pastor, Pastor Dave Riddle, said:

“I am:

-Not a defense attorney
-Not a prosecutor
-Not a judge
-Not the jury

I am His witness and I speak the Truth!”

I loved what he said so much I wrote it on the back page of my Bible.  It reminds me of I Peter 3:15:

“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,”

Whatever you are facing right now, the tough times you are going through, the “Works of God Displayed” in progress, all we can do is be a witness and talk, share and/or shout the good news of Christ working in our lives and the hope we have because of Him!

Okay, some of us might not feel we are the most eloquent of speakers or claim to be able to debate deep theological truths (there is a reason why I never took Debate class; my palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it!), but we can share with others what we know: the good news of Jesus Christ and what He has done for us!

“One thing I do know, I was blind, but now I see….”

One thing I know is I was hopeless, but He gave me hope…

I was distraught, but He gave me peace…

I was lonely, but He was my comfort…

I was floundering in desperation, but He stilled my soul and held my hand…

I felt empty, but He filled me with joy…

I realize that is more than one thing, but you get the idea! 🙂

I would love to hear your ‘before and after’!  He is at work and He never wastes a trial or a pain!

Today the girls are 14 years old!  I asked Sarah and Kendall what they wanted for their birthday dinner.  Kendall asked for an ice cream cake for dessert but she said she would let Sarah decide the meal.  When I asked Sarah what she wanted for the meal, she said, “cake”.

I said, “No, what food for dinner?”

“Ice cream”

“No, Sarah, what do you want to eat for dinner?”

“Cupcakes”

“No, Sarah,” I said laughing as I looked at David who was listening to the conversation, “Something that doesn’t have sugar in it.”  (I said that more to David than to Sarah.)

Sarah replied, “Chocolate.”

Oh well, it looks like it is going to be a sugar filled birthday!

The twins’ birthday is an anniversary of another event in our lives.  It was at their two year old wellness doctor visit when we first heard the word “autism” in regards to Sarah.

David and I were so sure Sarah was going to need tubes in her ears; that had to explain her behavior.  I shared my concerns with our pediatrician at the appointment.

He looked intently at Sarah and then back at me.

“I think it is autism.  I will be right back with some paperwork.” With that the pediatrician got up and walked out the door.  (We needed a referral to see a specialist.)

“Autism?  What??!  Isn’t that what the character in the movie ‘Rainman’ had?  Sarah is nothing like that!  How can he say that?!  How does he know that it is not her hearing?  He didn’t even look inside her ears!”

The rest of the appointment I was in a daze.  I don’t remember standing in line to check out or paying my co-pay.  I somehow walked out to my car and got all four children in their car seats and then I sat in the driver’s seat still stunned.   I do remember looking in the rearview mirror and seeing Sarah strapped in her car seat.  Out of nowhere this deep guttural groan came out of me as tears poured down my face.  I felt this heaviness on me that I have never experienced before.  With each labored breath, I felt it and prayed the entire drive home that the doctor was wrong.

“Please Lord…no.”

Unfortunately, as you know, the doctor was correct.

Now, it is twelve years later and we have had some good days; we have had some bad days; and we have had some really bad days.  It’s those really bad days that I feel that deep groan coming up from inside me once again; that feeling of being overwhelmed, exhausted and physically spent.  It is those times that I tell myself I need to remember what I already know.  I recall His promises from His Word.  Better yet, I like to sing His Word back to Him in praise.  Not always in tune, but from the heart.  It has been a mood lifter time and time again.  The groan is replaced with overwhelming peace that is sweet to my soul.

Like Sarah, her Momma likes her sweets!

Thank you for the 12 years of faithful prayers for us!  Truly, what a gift!!

“How sweet are Your Words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:103