The first two weeks I was home and no longer working I became a sloth, Murray the sloth, to be more specific. Murray was the honorary mascot at the engineering firm I worked at for almost 7 years. Our company sold to the aerospace sector and one of my co-workers found a photo of a sloth wearing an astronaut outfit. The sloth actually looked like he had a grin on his face. Bingo! Our office mascot was born and we named him Murray. We found various photos of sloths, but my favorite was a photo of a sloth wearing a Santa hat that we wrote “Murray Christmas” on it and we gave it to our boss at Christmastime.

Here is the thing as we began to research sloths; sloths sleep a lot. While slow, when they do something they are very intentional about it. It might take hours for them to move from one spot to another but they are focused and deliberate.

Kind of like me right now.

Those first two weeks I was home, I slept. I slept a lot! I thought, “What is wrong with me?!?!” It was as if everything finally caught up to me and I crashed. I was emotionally, physically and spiritually spent. It reminded me of Elijah in I Kings 19. He was weary. He had reached his limit. He was doing what God had called him to do, but life finally caught up with him. He, too, found himself emotionally, physically and spiritually spent and unable to go on. He found a tree and fell asleep under it. God sent an angel twice to provide food and water and the angel said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” I Kings 19:7

“The journey is too much for you….”

Wow. Have you ever felt that way, too? Are you like me thinking, “Now where did I put that white flag again? I need to sew it to my sleeve. It will make it so much easier to wave it. I’ll just need to lift my arm.”

“Yoo hoo, Lord!!” as I frantically waive my arm/white flag of surrender.

While I can’t change this Autism journey (or you may not be able to change the journey God has called you to walk right now), I am thankful we are not alone on it.  In fact, the Lord wants me to realize that He has been here all along and wants to help me long before I think I need to find the white flag of surrender. He doesn’t want any of us to be at the point that we are burned out, frazzled and on our last nerve. He wants to give us rest and to come to Him for strength!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I did find rest for my soul and I feel so much better! It was wonderful to slow down and sleep.

A lot like Murray.

I am also giving myself a spiritual tune-up. I have been studying a book on prayer in Bible Study and I have to admit, I got rusty in my prayer life. In the past, I would pray a quick blanket prayer, “Lord, be with David; be with the kids right now at school…” type thing. This Bible Study is teaching me that I can’t be lackadaisical when it comes to my prayer life.  It is focused. It is deliberate.

A lot like Murray.

I am thankful for my “sloth like time’ that allowed me to be refreshed and renewed. Now I am ready to go again with a sense of purpose and being intentional to go where God is calling me to go.

A lot like Murray…but hopefully a tad faster!

Thank you and bless you for praying! I have updated the Praise and Prayer Requests for this month. It is a separate page and it is a bit tricky to find. The page location depends if you are viewing this on your phone or computer/tablet. It may take some navigation but we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for praying for our girl (and us!)!!

“I’ve never been well.”

After 20 weeks of morning sickness/all day sickness being pregnant with the girls, I told David, “Honestly, I don’t remember a time that I was not sick. Even Jim (2 years old at the time) mimics me throwing up all the time. This is how our son sees me. Truly, I’ve never been well.”

I could tell David was trying not to laugh as he hugged me and kissed my head, but he has also never let me forget it! He should have known then what he was in for when I get sick.

This past week Sarah and I came down with the flu. This is when sharing is bad! The flu is hard especially for a semi non-verbal special needs child because you don’t know how they are feeling.  Thankfully, Sarah’s case was not that severe.

Me, on the other hand, I was lying on the couch with a water bottle in one hand and gripping the thermometer in the other. When I am sick I like to do two things:  #1- Call my mother to let her know. It just makes me feel better. #2-Take my temperature several times.

David understands the first one, but the second one puzzles him, especially as I call it out to him.

“100.3!” in the raspiest of voices.

“Now up to 101.1!”

“102.5!”

And later in the evening, “Oh wow. It’s 102.8.”

“Why do you do this? Why do you keep taking your temperature? Do you realize you’re hugging the thermometer?”

“It’s my validation. It justifies to me that my insides match how my outsides are feeling.”

You can’t argue with that reasoning!

It reminds me of how Kendall and I love to watch those makeover shows. The person comes in looking frumpy or ridiculous and the stylist gives the person new clothes, new hair and make-up and then at the final reveal they look amazing. Sometimes, though, the person opens their mouth and what comes out does not match the outward transformation. (Yikes!) Kendall looks at me and it is a good discussion about inner and outer beauty.

Luke 6:45b, “...his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.” (NASB)

I Peter 3:4, “Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.” (The Message)

It’s true. When I think of the women in my life that I think are truly beautiful, it is not their outward beauty, per say, but a reflection of their inner beauty. For example,

“When my friend laughs her eyes dance with joy. They just sparkle. I love that.”

“With all that she has going on in life right now; my friend’s face beautifully shines peace. I want to be more like that.”

“I love how after spending time with her I feel encouraged and uplifted. She is the kindest person I know. I love how you see her loving heart when she talks to you.”

This Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) inner beauty matches the outer beauty of these friends; a validation of true beauty. This is what I want for my girls.

When Kendall entered Middle School I wanted her to know what voices were the ones to listen to in regards to her beauty. I painted a plaque with Psalm 45:11 on it and hung it by her mirror. I want her to see it every time she gets ready in the morning.  It reads,

“The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him for He is your Lord.” (NIV)

Regardless of what the world says beauty is, we want her to know that inner beauty is more important and that the King of Kings, her Creator, is crazy about her!

It is the only validation she will ever need.