Imitator

Sarah has been fixated on 3 hole punching paper. At first I found all these round paper hole “chads” on the kitchen counter and on the dining room table. I wondered where they were coming from. Was Sarah making confetti at school?

Later in the evening I found her sitting at the dining room table 3-hole punching all of my leftover Christmas letter paper. By the time I saw what was happening, it was too late. She had just finished punching out the last stash of paper.

“Yeah, she has been doing that a lot lately.” David said as I held up my Christmas newsletter paper.

“Where did she find it?”  I shook my head that it was one more thing she has gotten into.

I had no idea what this fixation was all about until I saw old binders that Kendall left behind on the computer desk. They were placed with Jack’s school notebooks and binders.

“Jill, she made her own binders so she could be like Jack.” David said.

Sure enough, I opened up the binders and there was the Christmas paper she punched out as well as all the extra loose leaf paper we had in the house. She had used all of Kendall’s old binders, then made her own binding by taking string and lacing it through the paper holes.

It was so sweet that she wanted to be like her brother!

It reminds me of the time when Kendall was 10 years old and got her ears pierced. When we came home from the mall, Sarah was fascinated by Kendall’s new earrings. Kendall, who was not too happy about the pain, let Sarah examine her ears. She showed her the earrings we bought as well. The fascination didn’t stop. It was obvious that Sarah wanted her ears pierced, too.

But could she handle it? Would she pull out the earrings? Could she keep the post earrings in her ears for the 6 weeks required? Would she understand the pain that getting your ears pierced causes? After trying our best to explain it to her, we let her get her ears pierced too.

We went after school one day and Sarah was extremely giddy when we got to the store. She picked out the studs she wanted and eagerly sat in the chair. When the technician examined and prepped her ears she looked at me in bewilderment. She said that Sarah had marks on her earlobes. She said it looked like Sarah tried to pierce her own ears.

It broke my heart that Sarah wanted so desperately to be like her sister and imitate her that she tried to pierce her ears herself.

It makes me think of Ephesians 5:1, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Sarah’s imitation comes from fascination and fixation of what she is trying to emulate. She studies and copies what she sees.

How this needs to be true in my own life! If I am to be an imitator of God, I need to study His Word intently, follow it so closely that it becomes second nature to me. What a challenging thought to live a life that it is a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God! How would my thoughts and actions change?

I want to keep one sheet of the Christmas newsletter paper as a reminder that I am called to be an imitator of Christ! I want to study Him closely so I emulate the heart and mind of Christ in my daily actions and conversations.

Thank you, Sarah, for your example! You continue to challenge and inspire me!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Last Night of Childhood

Tonight is the last night my girls are together at home. Tomorrow Kendall leaves for college and while she will return for breaks and possibly next summer (unless a summer job prevents her), it will be different. Kendall will return as a college student and adult. This, in many ways, is the last night of her childhood.

I am taking this hard. Kendall has been ‘my girl’. God has given me such a gem in her! I enjoy her friendship! I enjoy being together and just talking. She has been such a help to me by starting dinner for me many times while I was still at work. She also helps me care for Sarah. If I can’t give Sarah a shower, she will or she helps me by getting Sarah ready for bed on nights when I am too tired.

More importantly, I wonder how Sarah will deal with Kendall leaving for college. Sarah adores her sister!

Kendall has promised to FaceTime with us so Sarah can see her. I do not know how much Sarah will understand, but this day was bound to come.  My girl has grown up and is ready to fly. Kendall is almost done packing her things. We have boxes by the door ready to go and I wonder what Sarah thinks of all of this.

Even when I was pregnant with the girls, Sarah liked to be close to her. Kendall likes to see my reaction when she says, “Mom, of course we are close! We were womb-mates!” (That made-up word grosses me out!)

But it’s true! Each time I had an ultrasound to make sure the girls were developing on schedule, poor Kendall was squished in the corner. The ultrasound would show her with her head pinned down to her shoulder. She looked so uncomfortable. It was no wonder Kendall went breach at 36 weeks, she was looking for room! Then there was Sarah. Sarah spread herself out like she was doing a spread eagle. More than once when the technician was looking at Kendall (Baby A) a leg would float by, then an arm. I asked if that was Baby A’s leg and she laughed and said, “No, that is Baby B. She is hogging all the room! She doesn’t want to stay on her side.”

When we came home from the hospital with the girls, we thought they would want to sleep together. They had been together for so long, we thought they would miss each other. That great idea lasted two nights. Once again, Sarah hogged all the room. She wiggled and kicked until she was free of her blanket that she was swaddled in and continued to wiggle until she was almost on top of Kendall. Kendall would cry and we would race in. After moving Sarah back, she would do it again…and again. We finally gave up and we separated them.

Now they are being separated by 155 miles. While it is not too far, it feels like 155,000,000 miles to my heart. This is one of those times my heart and head are disagreeing with each other!

This summer, Kendall found a spot near our vacation home with the least amount of light pollution. We went out around midnight as a family to star gaze. It was amazing! We saw shooting stars and the Milky Way. It reminded me of Isaiah 40:26, “Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength not one of them is missing.”

The same God who calls out the stars by name is the same God looking over my girls. Life is just going to be different now. This phase of our lives is ending, but I know in His great power and mighty strength He is in control. While this might be the last night of Kendall’s childhood, there is a bond between them that will always keep them in each other’s hearts that 155 miles cannot weaken. ❤