­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Sarah failed her eye exam at school.  This was not a shock to us.  While Sarah has some language she is not always very cooperative.  Could we even trust that she would say the letters correctly if she knew what the letters were?  Sure enough, we received a letter from the county Health Department that we needed to follow up with our optometrist.

Our optometrist uses prisms to determine Sarah’s vision needs.  It looks very “old school” as she has a large box filled with many spectacles.  She places a spectacle into an eyeglass frame and places it on Sarah’s face.  Then she takes a glass prism and her flashlight and looks into Sarah’s eyes.  Some prisms are about 3” long and are tapered on one end while other prisms are smaller, mounted onto a card along with several other prisms like holes on a piece of Swiss cheese.  It is fascinating to watch her work; removing and replacing spectacles, flipping different prisms around, holding them at different angles, but in the end we had the right prescription to help Sarah.

I had my eye appointment this past week and I asked her how the prisms worked.  How did she know what Sarah needed?

She smiled and said, “I observed Sarah and how she responded.  I like to think of myself as a Behavioral Optometrist.  At first there was no change in her behavior, but did you notice how she looked up at me when I flipped the larger prism around so that the tapered end was facing down?  Her head lifted up.  I saw how the light from the prism made a difference and I knew I was on the right track.”

How the light made a difference…

“I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

“…that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light.”  I Peter 2:9

While this life with Sarah has a lot of unknowns, hard times, and struggles, He continues to light and be the Light on our way.  I can truly say He has made all the difference!  He has comforted us when our hearts are heavy.  He gives us strength when we are weary and we feel like our knees are about to buckle and He gives us joy to appreciate the good things.  How can I not praise Him?

Kendall told me one day, “Mom, everything sounds better and much more dramatic when you say ‘soul searching journey’ with it.  For example, I can say ‘I cleaned my room’, or I can say ‘I cleaned my room and went on a soul searching journey.’”

I had to agree it did sound much better and exciting.  And sometimes cleaning her room is not only a soul searching journey, but also a carpet searching one, too!  A two for one adventure!

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me to know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me to the way of everlasting.” Psalm 139:23

“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow.”  Psalm 51:7

Sometimes with this life with autism, I get depressed.  “Why can’t we do ‘normal’ things like other families?  Why do we always struggle with her behaviors? In a nutshell, I am discontent.  “I wish I had….”  “I wish I was….”  “I wish life would be….”  My discontentment can breed envy and bitterness if left unchecked.  It is a joy stealer.  If I let it progress too long, I find myself empty and distant from the Lord.  This is when I need to go on my own ‘soul searching journey’ with the Lord.  I love these verses that it reminds me that God is ready to give me the good cleaning my soul desperately needs!