I read a poem about a woman at an airport. She was waiting for her flight and decided to buy a book and bag of cookies from an airport store while she waited.

Like most people, she sat down but had a seat in between her and another traveler. As she was getting settled, she noticed that the gentleman traveler reached down and ate one of the cookies that was placed on the seat in between them.

She was a bit taken back by his boldness! In her shock, she then reached down to take a cookie. She hoped it would send the message that these were her cookies.

Then he did it again! He took another cookie! Shock subsided and now she was just mad, and she grabbed another cookie for herself.

This continued with them going back and forth taking a cookie until they got down to the last one. He took it and with a laugh broke it in half and offered it to her.

She grabbed the cookie from his hand and gave him the dirtiest, most disgusted look.

Her flight was called from the overhead speaker, and she got up to leave. She was fuming! She grabbed her things and stormed off to her gate. She didn’t want to look at him. What a jerk! She had never seen anything so rude in her life!

As she sat down in her seat, she reached inside her bag to grab the book she bought. As she pulled out the book, she also pulled out her bag of unopened cookies.

A wave of nausea washed over her as she realized the cookies on the seat in between them were not hers, but his! She thought back in horror and shame of her behavior towards him.

He wasn’t the jerk, the rude one, the thief. It was her! In fact, he was nothing but kind to her.

Her whole perception of the situation changed.

(Valerie Cox, “The Cookie Thief”)

It reminds me recently how I changed my perception.

In Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve had sinned and death entered the world, God said,

“The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat and live forever.”  So, the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.”  (Genesis 3:22-24)

Honestly, I thought it was a ‘Oh, no you don’t! Don’t you even think about it!’ response. They sinned and as punishment, they had to leave the garden and they couldn’t eat from the tree of life that could reverse their mortality.

Until…

I have been listening to the “Revive Our Hearts” podcast by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth focusing on the 7 churches in Revelation. Nancy made a profound statement that changed my perspective.

Nancy said that the tree of life in Genesis 2 & 3 is not mentioned again in the Bible until the book of Revelation. When Genesis 3:22 tells us, “He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat and live forever.”—She said it is implied of living forever in his fallen condition.

I never thought about that. Interesting…

Nancy said that the tree of life appears again in Revelation 22 for us now to eat from because of Christ and His redemptive work on the cross. By His redemption, by His great mercy and love, we are able once again to eat of the fruit of the tree of life, to partake of eternal life. Jesus restores the privilege of eating of the tree of life. (Revive Our Hearts: ‘A Promise Has Been Made to You’: The Cure for a Lukewarm Faith (Laodicea): Letters to the Churches of Revelation, Part 8, October 16, 2023.)

My whole perception of the situation changed!  

It wasn’t a ‘Oh, no you don’t! Don’t you even think about it!’ response; it was love in action!

It was the moment His plan to save, redeem, and restore us was set into motion.

I should know better! What Nancy said lines up with His character and His heart.

A dear friend of mine sent me a card in the mail several years ago to encourage me as we care for Sarah. I am so grateful for the people the Lord uses to cheer us on! I placed the card on the inside of my cupboard door. I have looked at it so often these many years. The card is worn, the edges are curled, and the black ink has now faded into a light brown color, but it is something I cherish.

Her card simply says,

“When we can’t see God’s hand, we can trust His heart.”

There are a lot of ‘why’s’ and ‘I don’t understand this, Lord’ on this autism journey. It can get overwhelming if I focus on the circumstances and situations, but when I change my focus on an unchanging God, I find peace. I remind myself of who He is and His character.

I have to say, when I do that, no matter the situation it changes my whole perception!

Update on Sarah:

We want to thank you for all the prayers for Sarah! We feel them! She moved into her group home at the end of April. (We are not disclosing the name or location for her protection. Thank you for your understanding.) She had a bit of a rough start with some elopement and her behavioral issues, but overall, she is doing well.

We have a video call with her once a week and it is wonderful to see her face. She also has a video call with Kendall. I love her relationship with her! No matter where Kendall is at in the world, she is there for her sister.

Sarah has a work program that she goes to during the day and returns home to the group home each night. She has her own room but has others around her. 

We talked to the Director, and we decided it would be best if we waited to visit to allow her to settle in. When we did go to visit her a few weeks ago and she seems happy and content. She was glad to see us, and had no issues when we left. I told her we would visit her again soon, and she waved goodbye and went back to the game she was playing on her iPad.

Please continue to pray with us as she adjusts. Our biggest behavioral issues are her refusing to wear clothes or if she does wear them, she soils them on purpose. She has a bathroom directly across from her room, so there is no reason for this behavior.

Here is a picture that the Director sent to us today. Also pictures of when we visited Sarah a few weeks ago. ❤

Thank you for your faithful prayers!

I will never forget November 6, 2023. It was a night of brokenness as I cried out to the Lord.

Sarah had hit such a rough time in her behaviors last fall, but that night was the worst. I prayed for encouragement. I prayed for mountains to move…

Praise #1 – The next morning David called Sarah’s autism doctor’s office to see if we can get in to seek help for her crying. This doctor is usually booked out 6 months in advance, but she had an opening the following week. That never happens! She heard our concerns and prescribed a drug to help with Sarah’s outbursts.  Sarah can go from crying loudly to laughing within a few seconds, but her crying doesn’t mean she is upset. She can be crying while doing things she loves to do. The doctor’s office suspects Sarah has a neurological disorder that causes her not to be able to regulate her emotions. This drug is what they prescribe for this disorder.

Praise #2 – This drug has been a game changer! From non-stop crying/screaming, we have gone to 20 minutes maximum (usually much less!) of crying. She is dramatically different! We have our Sarah back!

That week in November, I also called the group home* that we are wanting for Sarah. When we asked to be on their waitlist in 2019, we were told the waitlist is usually 10 years. I called just to see where we were at on the list. I was looking for encouragement that maybe it would be sooner.

My heart sank when I was told it was still at least another 10 years. I thanked them, but hung up the phone so discouraged.  

David and I decided in the meantime to look at other options as Sarah will age out of her life skills training through the school system in 2 years and we need to find options for her.

Praise #3 – January 2024, my phone rang, but I didn’t recognize the number. Thinking it was a client, I answered it. (When Sarah went back to in-person school after COVID, I went to work for David’s division at his company.) I was shocked when it was the group home calling us to tell us there was a space for Sarah! Honestly, I asked her name 4 times!! I just couldn’t believe it!  

It is a miracle!  What we thought would be 10 years happened in little over 2 months!

Our next step was for us to visit the group home. We planned our visit for the following week.

When Sarah came home from school on the day were going to visit, I told her our plans.

“Sarah, we are going to look at an apartment for you. Your brother and sister-in-law have an apartment, your sister has an apartment, and your younger brother has an apartment. We think we should look at an apartment for you. Do you want to look at one?”

Sarah stared at me intently.

“Yes” she whispered under her breath. She put on her coat and walked outside and climbed into the truck.

Praise #4 – For the entire trip Sarah was great! She was content playing on her iPad and was genuinely excited to go on this road trip. We toured the facility and it would be perfect for her! Sarah would need be accepted by the group home, but they told us we could move forward in the process.

Praise #5 – The next step was gathering paperwork. The group home will be taking over Sarah’s care, so they need all medical and educational documents on her. It was a major undertaking! Sarah has seen so many specialists throughout her life, but two months later everything was turned in. What a praise!

Praise #6 – Yesterday, we went for the interview with the group home. Sarah this time was not as happy and began crying. I asked for prayer from friends and she stopped within a few minutes of me asking for prayer! She was great again for the entire trip! What a praise!

These past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions. We want this so desperately for her, but I was preparing my heart that if it was a no, we will trust the Lord.

We drove there with such peace! We knew people were praying because we were so calm.

The interview went well as we shared about Sarah and her care. We left in complete peace knowing that the Lord was in control.

Praise #7 – On our way home, we got the call that Sarah is accepted and her move in date is in a few weeks!

Only the Lord can move mountains like this! 10 years to 5 months?!? This is unbelievable! I am in such a state of shock!

I have been studying the book of Exodus and focusing on chapters 1-18. When we think of the book of Exodus, we think of God freeing the Israelites from slavery and parting the Red Sea, but my Bible study has shown me that there were multiple instances of God’s deliverance in these chapters. Each week the study has been showing me different instances of God delivering Moses and/or the Israelites. It has been such an encouragement to me to see His faithfulness…not just with the Israelites, but with us on this Sarah journey.

One of my favorite verses as a mom is Isaiah 40:11:

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:

He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;

He gently leads those that have young.”

He has held us close to His heart and has gently lead us for all these years…

How grateful we are that He still parts seas and moves mountains!

Thank you for all the love and prayers for all these years on this autism journey!

With grateful hearts,

David and Jill

*We are not sharing the group home’s name/location due to Sarah’s privacy and protection. Thank you for your understanding!

“Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth

by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.”

Jeremiah 32:17

I pulled out my phone and opened the stopwatch feature.

I took a breath and said, “Where did you go to work today for school?”

(Sarah works at different stores in the community to learn job skills. This is a typical question I ask her each day.)

I started the stopwatch and waited…

5 seconds of silence seemed awkward.

10 seconds of silence was painful.

15 seconds of silence passed, and I thought I would have been sure she did not understand or heard me and would have asked again.

By 25 seconds I would have surely repeated myself, maybe even a couple of times.

The stopwatch finally hit 30 seconds and I stopped it.

“Whoa.”

I read again her teacher’s observation and a flood of emotion hit me.

“Sarah needs staff assistance, including visual prompts, to help with comprehension of the task at hand. She requires patience from those working with her, to allow time to process information in order to respond to questions or directions. Often, she will process for 30+ seconds before responding. It is important to refrain from repeating instructions or questions. This seems to reset her processing cycle and prolong the response time.”

We have always known that Sarah struggles with processing information and has a delayed response time, but 30+ seconds seems like an eternity when waiting for a response.

I have been guilty of not being patient in waiting for a response and ask the question again…and again.

Someone once told me that the autistic brain doesn’t sort information as efficiently as others. When asked, “Where did you go to work today for school?”, my brain would go immediately to the place I worked at. For Sarah, she might be sorting the question and determining if I am asking about school, what she did, who was at school, etc. She must rule out what I am not asking, and that could take her longer to respond.

By asking her the question again, I restart her sorting process.

I know better….

Many years ago, I spoke about Autism Awareness to third grade students at a local elementary school. The program was called “Everybody Counts” and it was a great teaching tool for kids to understand and accept children with disabilities.

I shared about Sarah’s delayed process time. I asked the students, “How would you get to the school office from this room? Please give me step by step instructions.”

One boy’s hand quickly shot up. I called on him and he told me to turn right out the door, down the hall, turn left, and the office was at the end of the hall on the left.

I thanked him and said, “Your brain thought of the quickest path to get to the office.”

“For my Sarah, her brain might have told her to turn left out the door, down the hall, out the exit doors, turn right to go around the front of the building, turn right to go through the front entrance door, and then turned right into the school office.”

The class giggled.

“Did she get to the school office?”

“Yes”, the entire class responded.

“Yes, she did. It just took her longer, but she got there! While that is not a real scenario, it reminds us that we need to show patience to kids like Sarah. Her brain might take a longer route to process things, but she can get there if we show her patience.”

My own words convict me years later!

Reading Sarah’s teacher’s observation was a great reminder to me to show patience, not just with her, but to everyone. I am spoiled by living in a fast-paced world where everything is available and can be delivered instantaneously. Giving others patience goes against our society.

As hard as it can be for me, showing patience is what I am called to do.

“…be patient with everyone.” (I Thessalonians 5:14b)

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience…” (Proverbs 19:11)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

I am so grateful that I have the perfect example to model after! How grateful I am that the Lord is so patience with me!

No matter how many times I confess to Him I have messed up, He forgives and restores. He is gracious, loving, and so very patient with me!

May I be more like Him! May I reflect His patience and wait for Sarah’s response when every ounce in my being wants to speed her up.

It may take 30 seconds…but I know it is one of the greatest ways to show love to her; to show I care enough to wait.

It will be 30 seconds well spent.  

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 86:15)

“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:23)

I was working at my dining room table when Sarah came down the stairs and stood in the living room. I could tell she was anxious. She looked at me and shouted, “Amazon! Samantha! Store!”

I looked up from my computer and said, “Oh…okay.” I was wondering what she was trying to say. She loves American Girl dolls and maybe she wanted to look on Amazon for some Samantha toy?

Sarah immediately walked briskly to the door to the garage, opened it, and hit the garage door button. She likes to throw things into the recycling bin, so it took me a second to realize she had opened the garage door. I jumped up from my chair and went after her. By the time I got to the back door, Sarah was walking out of the garage.

I caught up to her at the sidewalk.

“Hey there, let’s go back inside.” I tried to coax her to turn around.

“NO! NO! NO!” Sarah yelled, pushing me away. She stomped down the sidewalk.

I caught up to her again and held her hand. This is when I realized I was bare foot, and I left my cell phone next to my computer on the table. I had no way to call for help.

“Honey, do you want to take a bath?” (Thinking of something she would love to do.)

Sarah continued to walk forcefully.

Seeing a fire hydrant ahead I told her, “Let’s walk to the fire hydrant.”  

When we got to the fire hydrant, I made her stop. “Oh! We left the garage door open, poor Samson (our dog) must be so worried about us!! We don’t want him to get out. Let’s go back.”

Sarah had a look in her eye that was determined. “NOOOOOOO!” she yelled, she pushed me away and she continued to walk.

I caught up to her again and put my arm around her waist. I saw the next fire hydrant up ahead and I tried again to see if I could get her to turnaround. No. She continued to push me away and walk ahead.

I then decided to let her continue to walk. I would walk her around the block and make a circle back to our house.

When we came to the street to make the turn back to our home, Sarah refused to turn. She yelled, “NO!” and ran across the street.

I caught up to her and I started to panic. Nothing was working. I kept praying short prayers of “Lord! Help me! Lord!! HELP!”

The next road was a major road outside our subdivision. I needed to stop her! I stood in front of her and clasped both of her hands and started to push her back.

“Sarah, it’s time for us to go back home. Let’s go take a bath.”

Sarah became very agitated and screamed, “NOOOOOOO!” and ran into the street. Thankfully, my neighbor had just driven by, but no other cars were around.

My neighbor saw what was happening, stopped, and turned around. She pulled up next to us in the street.

“Hey Sarah! Do you want a ride home?”

I was just thinking about how difficult it was going to be to get her back home as we were quite some distance from the house.

Sarah looked at her and climbed in the car. I hopped in the back seat.

I thanked my neighbor repeatedly and told her she was an answer to prayer. When we pulled into our driveway there was our dog anxiously waiting by the house door that was wide open.

“Hey Sarah, let’s take that bath.” Sarah walked into the house and headed upstairs. I filled it with some Epsom salts and lavender oil and when she was done, she very mellow and happy. I had my Sarah back.

David came home later that night from a business trip. I told him I was so shook up by this. I shudder to think what would have happened if my neighbor didn’t come.

I gave my all, but it wasn’t enough. How grateful I am that the Lord sent my neighbor to help me!

It reminds me of a time when we went out to dinner with my extended family. One of my twin nephews, who was no more than 4 years old at the time, announced he wanted to buy dinner for the whole family with his money. He brought all the money he had in the world.

It was 22 cents.

He proudly gave it all to the server and we all thanked him for his generosity. He beamed with pride!

Little did he know that the fathers each slipped away during the meal to pay for the remaining portions of the bill.

As I drove past that restaurant, the memory flooded back to me.

I told the Lord as I thought about Sarah, “It’s like I am giving my 22 cents, Lord. All I have, but I feel like it’s not enough.”

Then I smiled as I thought, “But my Heavenly Father goes behind the scenes and takes care of the rest!”

Thank you for praying for us on this journey! We are so grateful!

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

This school year Sarah has been working in the community food pantry and clothing bank.

Sarah has been doing very well following instructions. She puts cans on the shelf for the local food pantry and is a hard worker. If she picks her nose, they stop her and have her wash her hands. If she can go 7 minutes without picking her nose, she gets a token. If she gets 5 tokens, she can do something she likes to do (color or computer time). Overall, she is doing very well, except…..

One day in the clothing bank, a girl’s youth size pink sweater with a horse on it came in. It was very distinctive and stood out amongst the clothes they were folding. The little girl sweater was put on the table to be available for the community and the class left the clothing room and returned to their classroom.

Later that day, the teacher was teaching up front and he looked at Sarah. He did a double take because Sarah was wearing a very tight, way too small, pink sweater over her clothes. As he looked, he saw that it had a horse on it.

“Sarah, that is not your shirt.” He said trying not to laugh.

Sarah refused to make eye contact and pretended she didn’t hear him.

“Sarah, you need to put that back.”

With that Sarah got up from her desk, huffed, and stomped out of the classroom to return the sweater to the clothing bank. Such the drama girl!

He told us that if it was in her size, he would have let her keep it. He recently let her keep a stuffed horse doll that came into the clothing bank because he knew how much she wanted it. She was thrilled!

What a wonderful gift!

David and I experienced a wonderful gift recently. On our way to pick up Jack for Thanksgiving break a few weeks ago, we stayed overnight in Blacksburg, VA. David loves to visit university football stadiums. Blacksburg, VA is home to Virginia Tech and David wanted to see if we could see the stadium. We got to Blacksburg too late the night before, so early the next morning before we drove the last stretch to get Jack, we drove to the campus. As we drove around the football stadium, heavy chains were over each of the gates.

It wasn’t looking good.

“Let’s go to the main office and see.”

As we got out and walked to the main office the doors were locked. We were there too early. As we walked back to our car, I prayed and asked the Lord if there was any way we could get in. I knew how much it meant to David. Just then a car pulled in.

David looked at me, “Should I ask this guy about letting us in?”

“Yes! Why not?” (Thinking to myself this is exactly what I prayed for!)

David approached the man and asked.

“Sure! Follow me!”

With that, he gave us a tour of the stadium. We got to walk on the field and go into the team tunnel. As we were walking out, I jumped and touched the Hokie stone like I was a player! 😊

We thanked the man and found out that he graduated from Liberty (Jack’s school).

He said, “Happy to show you. It’s funny. I’m normally not here this early. I woke up early this morning, so I just decided to come into work.”

When we got back into the car, I looked at David and said, “Isn’t it amazing that the God of the universe is our Father and cares for us? He made that happen for you.” David smiled and nodded his head.

What a wonderful gift!

This past year, I have been studying the book of Genesis. What amazes me is the moment sin entered the world in Genesis 3, the Lord set in motion our redemption and salvation in the same chapter. Jesus was promised the moment we were lost to offer hope and salvation. At Christmas we celebrate His arrival, the fulfilment of God’s promise! I am in awe!

Jesus! What a wonderful, amazing, and BEST gift!

Merry Christmas! Thank you for your faithful prayers for our girl!

“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!” 2 Corinthians 9:15

“Nose picking will limit job opportunities.”

No truer words spoken my friends!

I can see it now on a t-shirt or a bumper sticker…

As I met with Sarah’s teacher and specialists, we were sharing our frustration of Sarah’s nose picking and how that limits her work. Can she work in food prep? Nope. Gross! Stock shelves in the school store? Bag groceries? She can’t if she picks her nose and then touches things. Wash dishes? Laundry service? She can’t touch clean dishes or clothes if her fingers have been in her nose.

We were brainstorming ideas and we determined that she could vacuum a room (custodial) if they sterilize the vacuum handle afterwards. It was something, but the fact remained that we needed to stop this behavior to give her more work opportunities.

Her Autism program is amazing! This past year I have seen firsthand since I was with her for her online learning for most of the school year. All day I saw these amazing teachers pour into these students to help them learn skills to obtain jobs and live as independently as they can when the student turns 26. These teachers are taking these years from age 18 to age 26 to prepare them for the rest of their lives.

God does the same thing with us.

This past spring, I was studying the book of Genesis in my Bible study. I saw with fresh eyes how God was at work and preparing Joseph during his darkest of days. Joseph was sold into slavery at age 17 and taken to Egypt. He was working at a home of a government official and soon was promoted as the head of the household. Later, though he was innocent, his owner threw him into prison. Yet again, God was with him, and he rose to position of leadership inside the jail. Then at age 30, 13 years after coming to Egypt, he was released from prison and made second in command of the entire nation, second only to Pharoah. Wow!

There were moments, though, in Joseph’s story that were very dark and depressing. There was a chance for him to get out of prison, but he was soon forgotten and left there. I can only imagine how he must of have felt in that awful place, wondering what God was doing…but God was at work!

I realized that God used these dark times of waiting for Joseph:

• To become fluent in a foreign language. He learned and was so fluent in it that when he saw his brothers 20 years later, they had no idea who he was (Genesis 42:8). He needed to be fluent to lead a nation. God prepared him in those 20 years.
• To learn how to manage businesses and people. His time of running a household, then a prison, God used to prepare him to lead a nation (and the area nations) through the worst famine ever known.
• To learn the culture. His time of waiting taught him the nuances of Egyptian culture, so he knew how to look before Pharaoh and their eating customs (Genesis 41:14, Genesis 43:32). This is the one that I never realized before….When the Israelites came to Egypt to live, Joseph protected them by telling his brothers to say they were shepherds. Joseph knew the Egyptian culture detested shepherds, so they could be left alone and could live in peace in Goshen (Genesis 46:34).

The Israelites’ faith, identity, and culture remained intact while living in a foreign polytheistic country because of Joseph and what he learned during his darkest times. There was no intermarriage, no becoming absorbed into Egyptian culture while they were there. God was with and prepared Joseph in all those years of waiting to protect Israel from the famine and allow them to grow as a nation in safety.

To be honest, we are tired of dealing with the nose picking (and other OCD issues-see Prayer Requests). It’s a daily battle and we lose, but I’m encouraged by Joseph’s example. While we can get discouraged and frustrated, we know and walk in faith that God is preparing Sarah (and us) for what lies ahead. Even in the darkest of times, we know He is at work! God wastes nothing and can use all things for His glory!

I look forward to the day of seeing what God has planned for Sarah!

Bless and thank you for your ongoing prayers for her! We are so deeply grateful!!

“But Joseph said to them…you (his brothers) intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Yesterday Sarah wanted to end 2020 with pizzazz.

It started with her not sleeping AT ALL the night of the 30^th/morning of the 31^st. For several hours she cried and wailed. Trying to console her did nothing, in fact, it made her mad and she screamed louder. I gave up trying. Then about 3am she changed to giggling and shouting out words that sounded like gibberish. Needless to say, we also did not sleep at all the night of the 30^th/morning of the 31^st!

Later that morning she found a box of Mike & Ike candy that one of the kids brought home. I am unsure how much she ate, but it was enough to make her sick. Sadly, she threw up the Mike & Ike candies on the floor in front of the toilet (so close and yet so very far!) in the downstairs bathroom. Kendall, bless her, took her upstairs to wash her and I cleaned/disinfected the floor and wall and washed the bathroom mat that was hit hard. So gross!

In the afternoon Sarah was in the kitchen and I heard her in the cabinet. When I looked at what she had grabbed, she had pulled out the NyQuil and had poured some in the cup provided and drank it. YIKES! I locked up the NyQuil in the fishing tackle box that we keep our other meds locked up in. I was worried that she would sleep during the day (and be up the entire night again), but it had no effect on her. She never slowed down for the entire day.

I, on the other hand, was on fumes. Already exhausted from the lack of sleep, dealing with throw up and this med scare, I was ready for the day (and year!) to end.

Yet, while it has been a day and year for the books, David and I spend time reminding each other of all the good things that God has done this past year last night. Over and over again, we saw the Lord’s protection and provision. In regards with Sarah, I am grateful that I was able to stay home with her this past year helping her with on-line school. I have gotten to know her teachers and I have such a deep appreciation and admiration for them!!

This morning I was reading about the importance of resistance training when it comes to our spiritual walk. Jonathan Cahn says, “God calls each of us to grow … to grow in faith, in righteousness, in love, in joy, in hope, patience, peace, perseverance … in godliness … When you exercise the qualities of God against resistance, it causes you to grow stronger … When it’s hardest to love, and you love regardless, your love grows stronger. When your circumstances are not conducive to joy, but you rejoice anyway, your joy increases … so don’t despise the resistance, but give thanks for it.” (The Book of Mysteries, Day 212)

I chuckled to myself that God keeps giving me opportunities for resistance training in patience! Yet, it is not my patience, but Christ’s patience in me. It is not my joy, but Christ’s. Resistance training, the hard and challenging days that make me question my existence, allows me to experience His presence in me and let it grow; to become more like Him!

What an interesting thought! These tough days, these days that I feel might break me, are really opportunities to stretch my spiritual muscles to grow stronger and more like Him!

With Christ, I think I am ready to face 2021!

“…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:3-5

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2-3

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20