“Brr! It’s too cold! Brr!” – this is the phrase that Sarah says almost every morning as I give her a shower. What is funny is that she is actually trying to say the water is too hot for her. Our hot water heater is very temperamental and it takes a while to get the perfect temperature for Sarah. Usually, I turn the hot water dial too much for her liking and she blurts, “Brr! It’s too cold! Brr!” and I tell her, “No, Sarah, it’s too hot! Ouch!” but she never understands that. Thankfully, I know better when she says her phrase and I turn down the hot water dial, turn up the cold and make it the perfect temperature for Sarah.
I know better. This is not just limited to decoding Sarah-isms. Sometimes when I get down from the heaviness of autism, I throw myself a pity party. I wonder why God has allowed autism in my family and I take on the role of party planner, except I am the sole attendee at the party (I always win at the party games!). I break up the pity party by reminding myself of His promises and recalling His continued faithfulness to me because….I know better.
I love II Timothy 2:13, “..if we are faithless (guilty of that at times!), He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.” He is faithful; it is His very nature. Just like my freckles that I couldn’t remove even if I tried because they make up who I am. For God, He is the very definition of the word ‘faithful’. He couldn’t stop caring, loving and being here in the midst of this because it is who He is. I remind myself of these truths because… I know better.
So why I don’t understand, just like Sarah never seems to understand that I want her to tell me the water is too hot, I know my loving Heavenly Father knows what is better for me. He is at work in our lives and in Sarah’s and while I only have this tiny piece of my life that I can see right now, He knows better. In fact, I can say with tears in my eyes, HE KNOWS BEST and I continue to walk (okay, let’s be honest, sometimes ‘flat on my face’ belly crawl) in faith on this autism journey.
Isaiah 55:8, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD.”