I read “Obedience is God’s Love Language.” I never heard of that before, but it reinforced what I was studying in my Women’s Bible study at church:
John 14:15, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”
I show my love for Him by my obedience!
It reminded me of April 2010. I was praying to the Lord telling Him I wanted to obey Him, but just as long as He didn’t ask me to do…and then I listed the various things I wouldn’t do. (That was dumb!) As soon as I finished my prayer, I felt a piercing in my soul and the thoughts of, “How is that obedience? Who are you to tell God what He can and cannot do? Saying ‘Yes, Lord’ and then telling Him but only under certain conditions is not saying ‘Yes, Lord’ at all! It’s more like ‘I guess, Lord, as long as I agree with it.’”
Partial obedience is disobedience.
It was like a punch to the stomach and a realization that I was not being obedient. I confessed my disobedience and agreed in my heart what Bible teacher Pricilla Shirer has said, “If God calls you, He will equip you.” I felt my partially closed hands opening up to Him that I would be obedient to whatever He calls me to do knowing He will equip me for it.
The next month a situation came up that was on my list of things I didn’t want to do and my initial response was to say ‘No’. The Lord brought to mind what I said only a month before and I said, “Okay, okay, I will be open.” As this situation unfolded over the next two months, the strangest thing happened; God changed my heart that I wanted it. The very thing I said I wouldn’t be willing to do! He has a way of changing the desires of our hearts when we are open to His leading.
Then as soon as the door opened, the Lord shut it. Now almost four years later, I see how God was working, but at the time it didn’t make sense. I was so confused and wondered why the ‘no’ especially as it was such a change of heart for me. (I mean, come on, that was a huge lesson for me!!) 🙂
I think the greater lesson I learned from this was that I needed to still be obedient in the ‘no’, even more so, actually, than when He says ‘yes’.
As we walk this journey of autism, I am still learning. Obedience is hard, especially when He says ‘no’ and especially if it involves Sarah. I remind myself Sarah is His child and He loves her. He knows what is best for her and I need to trust Him. So, with open hands and heart, I try to live out my Heavenly Father’s Love Language of Obedience.